Monday, April 13, 2009

Why Do People Insist Upon Irking Me on Mondays?

OK, OK, so the last one was on a Wednesday, which only makes me think I'm right a little more, cause it's not just Monday Morning Bitchy, of which I own a controlling interest in stock. Even if I did have a quasi-snapperish weekend, which somehow turned out beautifully despite the fact that I called Jesus a zombie on Friday... guess I'll have to wait for my smiting from that. Then again, maybe I was totally right about that, and so I'm just getting a little irksomness (yeah, another one of my made up words, and I say, "Kiss my everlovin' ass, Spellcheck!") cause all in all I had a pretty great weekend.

But now here we are on Monday, and again, I'm wanting to kick some cyber-butt. Go figure... I think the letter I wrote is pretty self-explanatory about the situation. And yes, this is the real email and the real company I sent it to, any modifications to this letter are in my normal blue-type. I'm starting to see the true value of bitchiness and it's place in society... honestly.

To Whom It May Concern at Jerry Baker:

I have ordered one book from you, and in reading the fine print on the bill, I've discovered that you've automatically enrolled me to continue receiving books that I didn't order so I can "try them out".

Please know that by Automatically Enrolling Me ~ you have lost my business forever. This is an incredibly shady, underhanded business practice that your customers don't know about until they have made the mistake of being interested in one of your products. Compounding the bad taste in my mouth from this unwanted enrollment, was my visit to your website to cancel the UNWANTED series. When I visited the supposed web address in order to waste my valuable time making sure I do NOT RECEIVE these future book mailings, I had to figure out how the hell to cancel, because of course, it's not clearly marked. It's just another sales pitch for the books that I never wanted in the first place. And when I did figure out which of the 'not clearly marked' links it may be to cancel, I got a "sorry this page is down for routine maintenance, please check back Monday" message... Except that this IS Monday.

Somehow, I'm sure that if I go back to your site to pay my balance due for the one book that I did actually order, things would go very, very smoothly. I'm sure all of those pages are marked so clearly that Stevie Wonder would know where to go, and heck, they may even be secure. I don't know that for sure, but I have a pretty good idea I would find myself to be correct. I, however, will not be returning to to confirm this suspicion, as one dose of scam artist before I've finished my second cup of coffee is quite enough.

Sadly for you though, I WILL be reporting this site to BBB internet division detailing my dissatisfaction with your business practices, because, let's face it, I have too much time on my hands, and you pissed me off on a Monday morning. Which, does not bode well for you. Pity, because I liked the one and only book that I actually did order.

In closing, I suggest that you make sure that I don't receive another book from you people...EVER.

My Customer Number is bibitybobityboocausenoteveryoneneedsthatnumber. Handle it immediately.

SpongeAria BitchyPants (OK, that's not how I signed off, but, it totally fits, doesn't it?)

With that said, I just want to know; WhenWhenWhen will these people learn to not pluck my last decent nerve like it's a harp-string in the morning? Cause be it never-ending comment emails or shady business practices and just-as-shady websites, y'all know I'm going to have to pop-off... my life simply isn't interesting enough to let this stuff slide past the blog... Puh-Leese people! Registered & Protected


The Retired One said...

Oh! For a moment there, I forgot that I had read your post on the never-ending comments and I thought you might have meant me.
I mean I am pretty wordy.
Let's see if I can add more to this comment to make it even longer.
I guess not.
I don't think so.
Well, Maybe......

The Retirement Chronicles

The Retired One said...

You have been tagged!!

The Retirement Chronicles