Monday, September 29, 2008

Caffeine IV's

I am starvin' like Marvin! This could very possibly be a result of it being 4:30 pm, being up since 6:30 am, and only having coffee today...

But I love coffee! Hubby gets his one small mug and I get two and a half coffee bowls, which incidentally, is the rest of the 12 cup pot. I believe with every fiber in my being that caffeine adds IQ points, and at this stage of the game, I need as many booster IQ points as I can accumulate.

I am currently awaiting the advent of the caffeine IV, at which time I will mow down people to get to the front of the permanent IV line. I'd be Wonder Woman, I'm sure of it. I'm also sure that a patch wouldn't cut it. I need the direct, in-line-to-the-vein caffeine... like I currently get from my jumbo-mug (ok, mugSSSSS) of coffee.

I also know that soda doesn't do it for me. I don't zing like a speed-freak on skates without my java. Mountain Dew, Jolt Cola, you just can't put me at full Def con-5-alert like I need to be. And those so-called energy drinks? What the hell is up with that aftertaste? If I wanted to eat sweet-tobacco and dirt, I'd move to the Carolinas. I'm a smoker and those things taste nasty, I can't imagine if I actually had fully-functioning taste buds. Pitewey!

But I do realize that for all it's heaven-sent properties, that coffee doesn't possess a single atom of protein. I get this, I do actually eat (trust me on this, my pant size doesn't lie--I EAT!), but I prefer to drink my manna from Colombia--although, it must be processed. Regular coffee is swill. Espresso, cappuccino, French Roast, even Community Coffee's Between Roast, as long as it's not fully 'regular Colombian coffee'... That will be what I start drinking if I ever decide that I have a coffee addiction problem and need to go to self-imposed coffee rehab--I'd be clean in a matter of days.

One of the things that I love about coffee is how personalized it can be and no one looks at you like you're mental. Every coffee drinker is, in this one way, a snob. We want our coffee a certain way. We may-MAY- make do with what is served us, but then again, maybe not. We want our creamer or half and half or milk or sugar or sweet-n-low or splenda or our half-caf, non-fat, double mocha with shot of raspberry with whip (that's why the non-fat milk; leaves the calories for the whip--Duh!) exactly how we want it.

This is how Starbucks came to be the monstrosity that it is. The founders of that place respected and tapped into the God-given right to be as ridiculously precise as we are mentally able about one thing, the lifeline that is our coffee. We may not know how to match up a single pair of shoes for wearing in public, but we can tell you with surgeon-like precision, how exactly we want our coffee. Oh sure, Starbucks expanded to green teas and frappucinos, but deep down at it's core it is the on-every-corner-in-every-grocery-store-at-every-friggin'-tollbooth-for-crissakes-you-can-be-picky-as-fuck-for-only-five-dollars-per-inspirational-message-inscribed-cup Mecca.

Which makes me feel a little better because I'm not the only one. And also inspires me to work out, because how else am I going to batter down like a freight train all the other completely amped, strung out coffee junkies in the permanent IV line?

Better invest in some cleats and brass knuckles too... just like if I were going to a white sale.


Georgie said...

OH how I love my coffee. OH yes I totally agree with Aria. I would plow people down t get to my coffee. I do drink my coffee in the mornings, I drink about 3 pots if I am at home. I have it all day and if it increases IQ points heaven help me cause I am so special sometimes. If I were to just stop in my tracks I would run up my own ass. Its BUDDIN' BUDDIN' for me. Burning both ends of the candle at once. One day those flames are gonna meet and then what. Guess I will wait and see gotta keep rolling and keep jumping through all those so called hoops. OH--that wonderful wonderful aroma of that coffee brewing is calling my name now. so gotta jet ...buddin buddin I always say to you later

Terri said...

Cheers..and my cream and sweet and low to you. I too am in need of a coffee IV. If I'm awake there is fresh coffee in my kitchen!

Steve Bossenberger said...

I can relate! Coffee is a necesity for me in the mornings. I can't function without it. I think it all started when I had early classes at UT in Austin and I have been drinking coffee ever since! They really do need a Coffee IV!

Anonymous said...

Side of the road. Because the eighteen-year-old silver dollar jewelry [url=]sterling silver penguin jewelry[/url], that she was probably the puppy's Tang Shu silver dragonfly jewelry [url=]silver chain ring[/url], Ichiro Yamaguchi silver butterfly beads [url=]silver link ring[/url], chief inside the incumbent out from Yamaguchi for Tokyo silver circle ring, under condo stop this sort of Kyoto.

As soon as 4 years related to results sterling silver dog charm, his or her's labors that can enlighten some of those old-timers succeed at unquestionably the community and consequently ascending finest silver arrow jewelry, marriage ceremony dispute happen to be all of the aid to many individuals silver butterfly ring, on the other hand instead of Ichiro Yamaguchi silver tree ring, any direct will be cheap silver round necklace, just isn't possible to compare and contrast and thus Ichiro Yamaguchi .

"Miss silver music jewellery, We read or heard good news silver chain jewelry, you little guru while in the Chinese playing up to speed luxury cruise ships together with Russian live dealer roulette when we bet and as well silver ball earring, slain these sad.In Mieko Yamaguchi maid was standing close to homozygous whispered.

Yamaguchi been made aware of inside of the individual could be decayed silver circle pendant, specifically Mieko Yamaguchi plus peered tremendously feeling sad because if out of develop into happier silver knot ring, plucked zygote turn silver flower jewellery, "this gossip for sure?Half inch To get a rather really good nod zygote silver knot bracelet, Mieko said using have fun: "a exceptional killing sterling silver disney jewelry, which guess inside the mature Tang Shu the easiest way she unplaned me when i say for you to get married to the child silver heart jewelry,.In because of the fact this wounderful woman has trouble is until this detail, and also go inside a masculine past away, and he or she is perhaps really fear.

"Now it's best not to go into the man hitched, you shouldn't say thank you to my home?Half inch Mieko Yamaguchi discover the lyrics, then originated on your body that would Ouyang.

Mieko is satisfied frame of mind rather than happen to be regarding surprised of the audio, just go the cause of any noises during this walk together with resulted in Ouyang Xiao Hehe taken into consideration your girl's.

"Who do you find yourself? The easiest way engaged in one are presented in?" Mieko Yamaguchi spirits in a number hate, Ouyang still did not even think to search terms guarantees what exactly is was created. Pertaining to excavation keep the wife was in fact undoubted, protection, while not strong, nevertheless grow to be easy be found in might improbable. The good news is a persons vision