Monday, August 30, 2010

Battles in Pottydom

Decorative toilet seatImage via WikipediaSo, we've finally gone all commando on the potty-training.

And I mean that literally.

My son is WAAAYYY late potty-training.  Turns out, he's just super lazy... or we are... whatever.

He knows how to use the toilet.  He's good at it.  When he does not have a butt-cover on; if he does, he's not using that toilet to save his life or hit the lotto.  

To be fair, he has no concept of death or money yet.  Well, aside from 'killing' everyone with any makeshift toy gun he can find, and when he plays McDonalds drive-thru with his father.  Jas charges hubby $1000 for two McDoubles, a small fry, and two large Diet Cokes; all of which are on the value menu, btw.

We have a budding Republican, obviously.

So the kid has been running around the house without any type of butt-cover... and using the toilet.

However, he has decided that if he doesn't get to wear a diaper or pull-up, he's not wearing ANYTHING

 ... and he likes to follow us outside.

If I put Diet Coke in his sippy cup, he'd be textbook Redneck Child.

So then we try to dress him before coming outside or bedtime rolls around, and we try to put a pull-up on him and he gets really, REALLY offended about it.

As if we forced nakedness upon him and now clothes of any type are a crime against nature and his incredibly evolved sensibilities.

Great, so now he's a toilet-using, nudist, budding-Republican.

I'm never getting that Mother of the Year award. Registered & Protected
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Monday, August 16, 2010

Getting On With It

I woke up today with a monster headache... the kind that instantly has you close-eyed groping for Excedrin... or *beg pray beg* morphine, whichever you lay your hands on first (damn, it's Excedrin), and then you call your primary care physician for a referral to a neurologist cause you're positive your brain is milliseconds from exploding inside your skull like Gallagher thought it was a watermelon, or you stumbled onto the set of a Michael Bay movie.

Yeah, one of those headaches.

And yet, it still was a better day than I was having last week, so ya know, trying to be grateful.  Because my friend from elementary school kinda scolded me on facebook earlier for not be thankful that my Environmental Science teacher seems to no longer be reading my assignments, but simply giving me hundreds with mini-comments like great job.

While I'd like to think that I am a decent writer, that last assignment was phoned-in at best, so getting the hundred was almost saying to me, "Hey, thanks for taking the time to do the research and write 1000 words in APA format with a title page, citations, and references on a topic that you'd rather eviscerate yourself than give a scintilla of a damn about, and turn it in on a Friday instead of a Sunday like every other class you've taken, all during the week that your cousin died, but I just can't be bothered reading this cause I have 20 some-odd students, so GREAT JOB!"

So I said that next time, I'm going to write about the problem with bodies of salt water is that there are too many Salt-Water Taffy manufacturers out there; just to see if this guy is paying any attention whatsoever.  And my friend reminded me to be grateful.

And she was right.

Even if I wasn't in the 'grateful' frame of mind.  I was a little ashamed for bitching about a full point scored paper.
To quote myself, "If that's the worst thing to happen to me today, I'm in great shape!"

But sometimes, you are just not in the place to take great advice~ even if it's from yourself.

Sometimes when your brain goes into Inspirational-Poster mode, you just want to tell it to shut the hell up cause your Give-A-Damn went running from the building like it's hair was on fire and you're not sure you've got the give-a-damn left to make coffee.

And yet, surprisingly... I had enough give-a-damn left to bitch at people.

Sometimes, I amaze me. Registered & Protected

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Fly With Angels

My words, so ineffectual in their condolence.

They cannot change what is,

or help those left behind to grapple with their grief.

They cannot make up for the years of lost chances

to catch-up...

or check-in...

or offer a helping hand...

or a shoulder to cry upon...

or a story to share.

So many memories, left to the survivors

serving as both security blankets and daggers.

Wretched mortality... only in its wake do we see

that living our lives as best as we are able,

so profoundly affects others.

With love and sorrow in my heart,

I bid you farewell.

That you may fly with angels.

In honor of Mary Ellen Trickel Kulesa 5/21/63-8/7/10 Registered & Protected

Friday, August 6, 2010


Eat, Pray, LoveImage via Wikipedia
You know you need a change in your life when you watch a trailer for Eat, Pray, Love and you start crying.

And even though I wasn't expecting to cry... At All... I knew as soon as I did, why it was happening.

I need a change.  And more of one than just lopping my hair off in my own bathroom... which I did the other day to avoid heatstroke; or so I told myself.

The hair chopping, the crying... I'll give some credit to hormones, but that's just exacerbating the core issue.  I need a change.

A total life change. 

And I'm a little stuck as to how to go about it.

So I'm going to take my sister's advice and start small, and personally positive.

Not good for him or them or us positive.

Good for ME positive.

Transformative, small, positive changes or actions.

Selfish... and I'm totally OK with that.

I've been on automatic pilot for too long.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go re-read Eat, Pray, Love.  It really is an excellent book that contains some incredible life wisdom.  And I need some of that. Registered & Protected
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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Definition of Irony

The irony is, I quit smoking pot years ago and my coffee consumption is less than one-fourth of what it used to be.  But see Mom, I was trying to look out for my brain all along!  *coughbullshitcough*

I mean, I know this guy is a professor at a well respected college, but guessing from his age-appearance, it is entirely possible that he's attempting to qualify all the pot he and his girlfriend smoked in the sixties and trying to make it socially acceptable in the now.

I wonder how far this will go toward national legalization... probably no where if the tobacco companies have anything to say about it; then again, it was the tobacco companies that lobbied to make it illegal in the first place.  Haters.

And here I was totally sober all through July when I could have totally used the marijuana vindication.

Sometimes it feels like the whole world is out to get ya.  lol Registered & Protected
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