A Whole Lotta Suckin' Goin' On

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... OK, not really. It's foggy and the light is gray so a little depressing with a smidgen of spooky. Not to mention that it's a monday (lowercase m intended!) but, hey, it's a brand new day, a brand new week, and that's worth some celebration.

Last week wasn't all bad, but it wasn't fantastic either. Wednesday, My Girl went home, which sucked big fat donkey rocks. On the upside, we managed to get her home with absolutely everything that she came with ~ minus one sock, just like doing laundry! ~ I am so going to ask God about the one sock mystery of the universe when I get to heaven which is a big deal, because normally a Jos visit is followed up about a month later with a Jos care package that contains several items that didn't make it back into the suitcase.

Speaking of suitcases... Ummm can I just say, "Continental Airlines... WTF?!?!?" As in WTF, when did you stop including a single-less-than-50-lbs suitcase in the price of a ticket? Honestly, carry-on included, one suitcase weighing less than my two-year-old... not included. Are y'all kidding me? I just spent an additional $75 Each Way (also up by $25) for unaccompanied minor fees, and y'all are going to charge me $15 for ONE normal-weight-no-frills suitcase? Thank goodness that my ex-husband called to let me know about that when she flew out, or I'd have been blindsided and possibly not able to pay it. totally went over budget during Jos visit Greedy airlines bastards! The gas prices have come down by half, and you're still holding onto this fee... in this economy... when you should be happy to have any passengers at all? Continental ~ You Suck.

Another thing that happened this weekend that sucked; a parking space thief. We were at Best Buy no shock on Saturday, when I found this great parking space after several go-rounds of the lot, which was packed solid. The car in it was getting ready to leave, so I sit... and wait... with my blinker on... for a full three minutes for the departing vehicle to get out of my way... they get all the way out ~ Only To Have A No-Account-MFing-Cword-SOB-CS-Effing-Troll-Monkey pull through from the other side and steal my spot. How shall I say, ummm... I came straight off the chain. Two days later I can still see that car in my head and want with every fiber in me to take a baseball bat to it and it's driver. Self-absorbed No-Account-MFing-Cword-SOB-CS-Effing-Troll-Monkey! Did they think that in a completely packed-like-sardines parking lot some other person would NOT be trying to get into that spot? No, they decided that they were too special to have to use reverse and back out of a parking space. No-Account-MFing-Cword-SOB-CS-Effing-Troll-Monkey you are so effing lucky that you came out of the store and didn't find your front end completely bashed in and your car set on fire because I was PMS-ing, got 5 hours of sleep, and had already told hubby that I was done for the day two stores ago, but he didn't listen. So I'll just say this, Mr/Mrs/Ms Parking-Space-Stealer ~ and you know who you are cause I yelled very ugly things at you before you got out of your car because you are a total space-stealing-chickenshit ~ You Suck.

And last but not least, from my glorious weekend outtings...

Dear Denny's Waitress,
Your coffee cups are minuscule, do not disappear for 15 minutes when you have customers with coffee needs. Also, do not emerge from the back and ignore every other customer in your station when bringing other tables their drinks, as it will piss off the other thirsty customers and you may get an empty coffee cup to the back of the skull. Also, I know you're fatter-n-a-cow, but so am I, and I can still walk faster than 1-mile-per-hour when I'm working in a service industry. Also, ignoring tables, especially when they're right there by the kitchen and can see you running your lips to other wait-persons like you're trying to win a talking contest is not the wisest of actions. Doing these things will ensure that you get no tip, not even a penny picked up from the floor... as you now know from experience.

Signed,
Bitch with empty coffee cup that left you no tip.

PS. You need to find another job and quit giving waitresses a bad name with your lousy service.

PPS. You Suck.