Half Dead Is All Good

I've heard it said that to have a good marriage you have to die to self. But...

As in, "But, what the fuck about the me I used to be and why the holy-fucking-hell do I have to die?"

I mean, I understand the concept. You have to die to your selfish ways and being the one and only someone that you answer to. I get that part, I understand completely, but...

As in, "But, there is something called balance, and if all of me dies then my husband/wife/partner is stuck with a corpse, and that can. not. possibly. be a good thing."

What if what we've heard from all of the so called experts is wrong ~ or at least contradictory to the other thing that they say which is that you have to stand up for yourself... but how are you supposed to stand-up if you're dead? That's one hell of a parlor trick, Skippy.

And btw, Mr. Expert, Sir, how am I supposed to bring anything worthwhile to the relationship if I'm dead? The stench of rotting flesh is so not what I want to impart to my beloved, ya know?

Besides, it always bothered me that I was supposed to die and bring my particular brand of amazingness to my relationships all at the same time. Unless I was supposed to divy it up and sometimes be dead and sometimes be all that I can be. So, honestly, these relationship experts weren't making any damn sense whatsoever.

But... and this time I mean, as in, "But, the lightbulb came on and they're both right, they just need a modification on their theories, and it's a critical one since the alternatives are utter selfishness or complete death, both of which suck big fat donkey rocks." If we're trying to live under either of these theories without incorporating the other for balance, we're screwed... No wonder the divorce rate is off the charts! Fucking Duh (to quote Robin Williams)!

You see, the first Half of you has to be the best that you've got in all your talents, gifts, and amazingly-unique-all-you-self. The other Half of you has to die, so that it can match up with your husband's/wife's/partner's dead half and those two separate dead halves can be reborn again as a whole that becomes the WE, the US, the Common Ground Entitiy that is the backbone basis of the relationship.

I guess in this instance, being half dead is all good. Well, just if you want to keep the one you're with ~ I mean, if not, by all means, go ahead and go with one of the other theories, they've worked sooo well so far... Yes, you did hear an eye-roll there.....