Monday, November 8, 2010

Just Give Me A Freakin' Break Already.

Three strips of cooked turkey baconImage via WikipediaI just don't get it.

Some chick on my facebook friends list just updated her status with her dietetic breakfast menu.


Can we file that under I don't give a shit? 

I'm pretty sure she's a fellow blogger too, so it doesn't bode well for her writing skills that the most pertinent, and by pertinent I mean funny, thought provoking, witty, or interesting, the most pertinent thing this woman has to post is her dietetic breakfast menu.

Turkey bacon is a travesty of epic proportions, I hate cottage cheese. I don't mind blueberries, but measuring your food before you eat sucks balls... and then posting the menu with measurements? 

That is just sad.

I mean, it's like the big cue to your brain that says, "Hey, heads up, we're dieting again.  Feel free to make the stomach think it's hungry All. Day. Long. Even if we eat the dietary fiber equivalent of cardboard and tree bark salad. Thanks!" 

It was like a tweet one time from David Faustino, that's Bud Bundy from Married With Children to those of you that don't have a freakish amount of actual names of actors floating around their heads, which said he was on his way to get a haircut.  I answered him in a manner similar to this post... and he answered me *squee!*.

Thing is, with all this social networking via the internet, have we gotten SO LAZY that we can't even manage 120 characters of interesting anymore?

Come on people, thanks to the Internet, we can chat with friends without make-up, minty-fresh-breath, showers, or even pants.  Can't we at least be interesting?

Witty, pithy, inspirational...?  Funny, smile-inspiring, thought provoking...?  Movie-quoting, YouTube-showing, passing along a chain-post that is total bullshit and probably a scam, but I have it as my status right now anyway...?

Hey, what do you expect?  I'm pre-coffee, and by that I mean that I've only had 6 oz. of this 20 oz. coffee that I expect will be into it's second go-round as I wash down 1 whole wheat bagel, 2 slices Kraft American cheese, two eggs fried in way too much pure canola oil, or as I like to call it; cooked Southern Style. 

Later on today I plan to consume 10.9 oz. crunchy Cheetos for lunch with a side dish of 32 oz. Coke Zero over 8 ice cubes.  Then for dinner I'll scrounge desperately for something sweet have 3 hot dogs, nuked well, 3 low-grade white bread buns that almost certainly have whatever the latest food no-no is in them, with liberal amounts of mustard, and for late snack, I'll remember there's some of the grade C Halloween candy left up in the kid's basket on the top shelf of the cabinet. Registered & Protected
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1 comment:

The Retired One said...

I hear you Aria...what is even worse? I have some one on FB who has to be gluten-free so all she ever posts is recipes for gluten free foods (how many ways can I spell YUCK???) OR she posts about being a victim (how many ways can she spell "sorry for herself"?) of having to be gluten-free. Gheesh. Or, she is always in some emotional crisis. I'd block her on FB but I must be a masochist (or starved for sick entertainment). Actually, it is so pitiful that I now read them for a good laugh. Let's see...wonder if her next FB post will be:
a. a recipe for gluten free Xmas cookies
b. nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms (but only if they are gluten free) or
c. Let's spin the wheel on Let's Make a Deal and pick a pitiful flavor-of-the-day emotion to say I am fighting to get control of my gluten-free-pity-party ass?