Icky

Image by G & A Sattler via FlickrPeople ask all the time, "How are you doing?"

At the grocery store, at the gas station...

when you're going through a break-up...

Today, my answer is "Icky."

I feel like hell. Every time I enter the house I want to cry.

It Sucks.

I thought I'd be happier. I was so miserable for so long, I was sure breaking-up would be easier.

I didn't expect the pain. I thought being in was painful; being out is currently worse.

Rationally, I know it will get better. I have faith, I do what God tells me to do, even when it seems insane to other people.

"Be good to him."

That's what I'm being told to do.


"Seriously, God? I'll do what you're telling me, but then how am I supposed to..."


"Be good to him. Give him everything I tell you to."


So I do... and I am... and I'm exhausted, weepy, and  hurting.  It sucks.  The one thing I'm not, is angry. 


But it's icky.

And I'm being told things that explain so much, but I'm not allowed to tell him, cause it cannot come from me now. He wouldn't accept the information.


Icky.


Lord help me. You know what I need better than I do. I am grateful that you are sending it on swift wings and I accept your blessings. Amen.  *sigh*  Amen.

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