We went to Austin and saw a girlfriend of mine earlier in the week. She's only been in Texas for a few months, and over my school break I went to visit her alone. This time I brought the whole fam-damily.
Hubby was trepidacious. He can barely handle one California-Yankee woman let alone a pair of them plus family.
I got told as we pulled-up to their house that this was going to be a short visit.
Two hours later, he and my friend were talking and laughing and hubby announced that we would hang out until her hubby got home so mine could meet hers.
Boo hasn't gone a day without mentioning her or the Spongebob video she put on for him, and that he wants to go back. Every time he makes this announcement, he brings me his shoes to punctuate the fact that he means now.
This friend was one that I chose all those many years ago, and we still like each other, and we're still similar, and our families get along well. CHOSEN.
Then I get home, and to contrast, a friend that I had at another high school (I attended three in 4 years) was one that I fell into. She was a friend of my step-sister from grade school, and when my step-sister moved out, I moved-in and kind of took over the friendship.
I thought we were good friends, but I recently realized that I was always a little bit out of the group. She (friend 1 to keep the story straight) posted pics this week of another friend of mine (friend 2) with her, along with the other friend's group (friend 2's group). Then Friend 1 posted pics of Friend 2's group members at Friend 1's parent's summer home.
I had been around long before Friend 2 and was a full-time friend for over a year. Friend 2's group were once-in-a-while show-ups.
I never garnered an invite to the summer house. I wasn't in any of the pics that were being posted. I don't remember ever taking pics at all with Friend 1.
It hurt. I had considered Friend 1 and Friend 2 good friends. But I was totally outside the loop.
I pulled up my Wonder Woman Underoos and recognized the relationships for what they were; convenient... and no where near as 'deep' as I had thought at the time. I should have realized that when I was always the one initiating contact. Always the one making the first move of kindness or consideration or any other earmark of general friendship.
I was chasing them... a friendship stalker of sorts. Like Rose on Two and a Half Men. Tolerated, but not taken seriously in any frame of reference.
Sometimes you are awesome, just not awesome for that person or that group.
I told hubby about it and that I felt like a mallard trying to fit in with swans.
He responded that maybe they were the mallards.
Be still my heart.
I unfriended all of them.
Then I thought about my friend in Austin.
We are definitely the swans.