Not Wel, Not Fare

Hi Y'all... no I didn't fall off the planet. The welfare office didn't suck me into some alternate universe portal. It did however make me sick... not that I knew it until mid-Monday afternoon (so now I owe apologies to anyone that I was with on Memorial Day... even if it hasn't hit them yet... I'll pray for you).

So Friday, as y'all were reading LMFAO, I was traveling the 30 miles to the county welfare office in an attempt to get food stamps. I showed up at 7:30 for my 7:45 appointment. First one there, lights barely on, no one behind the counter yet, although I could hear people talking and laughing from somewhere behind the combination locked door. So I sign in, and sit down to wait. Within 5 minutes other people start to file into the waiting room and sign in for their respective 7:45 appointments. And there we all sat... silently trying to not make eye-contact with the other waiters until our name was called. I, personally, find that my old cell phone, the one without service, but with all the downloaded card games on it is perfect in this capacity. So there I sat silently gin-gaming my way through until I was the first one called at 8:30.

Don'tcha hate showing up on time only to have the appointment-setting entity be exorbitantly late? Kind of like doctor's offices. Makes being early almost stupid, except that the one time you're late they will be running early and they'll skip you. And they wonder why people are hostile in these places. I'm convinced now that they create these hallway mazes to get back to the worker's offices so that angry citizens don't hop the registration desk, go to the back and shoot up their workers. Cause, honestly, the shooters would be trapped and never make it out.

Anyway... so I'm ushered through the maze of hallways back to my new worker's office. However, despite the lateness of getting started with my "early morning" appointment, I have to say, this was the nicest worker I've ever had to deal with. She wasn't all sanctimonious and condescending. Instead she was personable and the time went by fairly quickly as she typed all my information into the system. She was so pleasant in fact, that I didn't even for a second hold it against her when the computer spit out the amount of food stamps that we'd be entitled to.

$26.00 a month.

Let me say that again: $26.00 A Month.

Because Texas has no compassion whatsoever for it's citizens... and just so I'm not the only one completely incredulous about the bureaucratic bullshit I have to share this; it's a good thing I didn't try to get medical for hubby or myself, cause our entire household can not make more than $251 per MONTH in order to qualify for state medical coverage. Considering that minimum wage is set to go up again on June 1st to $7 and change, I couldn't work 12 hours a week at McDonald's and bring in that small an amount of money.

And yet, I can go to welfare and their shoddy janitorial staff can not disinfect the tables and chair arms in the waiting room and I can wind up with Martian Death Flu or possibly, from the high Mexican immigrant population in our area, Swine Flu. Which one it actually is, is not something that I'll ever know; because I don't qualify for medical at all, and we only qualify for $26.00 per month in food stamps, therefore, I cannot afford a trip to any doctor in the area, as they all charge upwards of $70 for a cash payment office visit, more if they write you a prescription or you need a test of any kind.

So it is dear readers, that this undiagnosed illness, the one that I didn't know I had when we went to our friends' home on Memorial Day (I swear y'all cause I'd never have gone), took three days to incubate, and now I've possibly infected upwards of 8 people outside my immediate family with HolyShitYouDon'tWantThat disease.

And here's the fun part. When you wake up in the morning you don't feel so bad, but as the day progresses you can't make it all the way through Fry's without passing out, unless you get to their in-store cafe and collapse into a chair by the grace of God before your vision fades completely to black and you look whiter than Casper as every inch of skin covering your body is going hot and cold in waves and you don't care that people are looking at you like something they'd pay admission to see because you're just so happy that you're sitting quasi-upright instead of sprawled out in an aisle somewhere while your husband tries to decide which roll of speaker wire would enhance his a/v system even though you told him you needed to sit down cause you were seeing things in front of your eyes.

And this, my dedicated followers, is why I haven't updated since LMFAO Friday. Thank you for your comments. I'm sorry I haven't been all bloggy and commenting on your blogs and reading what y'all are writing like I promised in some earlier post that I would. I miss y'all and I'll catch up blog by blog as soon as I'm able to sit upright in the computer chair for more than an hour without my vision getting all swimmy on me...

And if I don't make it... tell my kids I love them... and for God's sake, stay away from the welfare office!