This year for Father's Day, I'm going to give hubby the best presents ever.
I'm going to wash, dry, fold, and put away all of the laundry so when he takes a shower he won't have to dig in the hamper of clean clothes to get dressed.
I won't even complain about the condition of the bathroom when he is finished.
I'm going to give him the big cup of coffee.
I'm going to clean the house on Saturday so he'll have dishes to eat off of, glasses to drink from, a clean floor to walk across, and somewhere to sit on the couch.
I'm going to take him to Denny's so he can eat all the eggs and sausage and bacon he wants without hearing me bitch about doing the dishes again.
But, I'll let him drive so I don't give him heart-failure. I also won't ask where he's going or correct him on how to get there.
Then, I'll take our son out for a while so he can jam to his music at airplane-engine decibel levels without having to concern himself with the future deafness of the boy.
When we come back, I'll cook for him so he can dine on something other than leftover microwaved BBQ.
I'll let him choose a non-animated movie.
And I won't vacuum if he takes a nap.
I'll take Jas every 4.3 minutes to the bathroom because he says he has to pee even when he doesn't because he just wants to flush the potty.
I won't kick him off the computer because I have to "do something right quick, and it's important".
I'll let him know that sex is an option, but by no means mandatory.
I'll kill my own spiders and tree roaches without screaming like a limb is being amputated without anesthesia.
I won't eat potato chips in front of him, because he's on the Atkins diet.
I won't roll my eyes and make little huffy noises when he makes me crazy.
All that, and a card too. What more could a Dad want for Father's Day? See, best presents Ever!