Sunday, October 18, 2009

Oh Garth, How Do I Love Thee...

The Ultimate Hits album coverImage via Wikipedia

In my past life, prior to the current Texan house mama existence I live now, I was quite changeable and went through many incarnations.

Well one of those long ago incarnations included a foray into country music. I can't claim to like much in that genre these days... yes, despite living in Texas. *eyeroll* Why do people automatically assume that southerners love country music? I knew WAY more country fans when I lived in California than I have yet to meet in Houston~ish. Seriously. I digress...

It's been years since I've been a little bit country, and even longer since I've watched Donny & Marie, oh wait, they're on DWTS now, anyway, the point I was getting at is that the only country artist that I ever bought was Garth Brooks... OK and Dolly Parton, but that was to get "I Will Always Love You" before Whitney made it the gargantuan crossover hit that it became. In that respect, I was ahead of my time.

But back to the only county artist I ever bought more than one album of, that being the juggernaut that was the Garth Brooks song catalog. I knew 'em all. Every lyric, every inflection every yee-haw and sly wink at the camera. I could sing any Garth song with or without accompanying backup from the man himself pouring out of the speakers. I was Garthian (which will absolutely be a word in the dictionary one day very soon).

So a while back, we were browsing during another of hubby's marathon music section perusals, and I found Garth Brooks ~ The Ultimate Collection three disc set. I've listened to it a few times since we got it, but hubby isn't big into country, so there's only so much he'll stand for coming out of his beloved sound system. I think he was afraid that if I listened too much to Garth, I'd revert to my country-lovin' self in our hard-rocking home.

Well, with the announcement this past week that Garth is coming out of retirement to do a show in Vegas, I decided, on this sleepless night to put some Garth on the computer so I can listen with some earphones to those long ago faves.

Dammit all if I didn't realize all over again WHY this man has sold more albums than any other solo artist in the history of... keeping track of that kind of thing. Hubby was right to be afraid. I've been sucked back in.

I love that I know all the words. The energy is electric in these songs! And the slow ones say all the sappy shit that as a woman, I'm dying to hear. I've been boppin' my head with the headphones on, bustin' out a line or two when I couldn't help myself and I'm enjoying finding some songs that must have come out after I lost my twang and buried my cowboy boots in the back of the closet.

Add some fresh brewed French roast and this is turning into a fantastic Sunday morning! Of course, hubby has already popped out to the living room to see where I disappeared to. I told him I was listening to Garth. He thought it was harmless and went back to bed. It's day one. By day three he may start to catch on. I'm finding myself re-hooked like a fish that was too stupid to pass by the second worm.

Hubby may realize he's been usurped when I get caught hitchhiking to Vegas. It could happen. Don't say I didn't warn y'all.

Dear Garth,

I wanna be your groupie. Do you take almost 40 year old fat women?

I'm not trying to wreck your marriage. Keep Tricia, y'all are cute together and your family man tendencies are one of your most appealing features. I just want to sit front and center while you sing with all the magnetic showmanship you're capable of... night after night, show after show.

I could totally write songs with you btw. I used to do that in my past life, when I listened to you daily and learned all your songs the first time around. I could also write reviews in my blog and around the web, and I can throw down a pretty mean rendition of 'Papa Loved Mama' or 'Rodeo' or 'Shameless' if you want to bring a regular type fan onstage for any filming. I feel that this would make me one of your more useful groupies and would be worth the price of a wink from onstage, as well as maybe the price of a place to sleep, cause I'll be broke since my Garth addiction will make me unable to hold down a job.

I'm also pretty sure I'll be single when I confess my adoration of your talent to my Korn loving husband. So coming to every show would not be a problem. I also promise to Not Go(in') Down Till The Sun Comes Up because I'm an insomniac. See, best groupie EVER. Right here.

Let me know.


Addicted Aria Registered & Protected

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]


DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Good luck with the groupie thing. Try not to let anyone near your boobs with a sharpie. I never understood the whole boob signing thing.

Angelika said...

When I was at the UofA, one of my roomates was ALL COUNTRY, ALL THE TIME. I did develop a liking for Garth Brooks ,Shenendoah & Randy Travis. Also Shania Twain, but anyway. I've got that Garth Brooks Hits CD in my collection too! My faves are "Friends in Low Places" & "Thunder Rolls". :-)

Lin said...

I think he likes 40 year old fat women--he's got Tricia, right??? :)


I don't like country music, sorry, but I can see you hitchin' to Vegas to see him. Heck--I'd tell your husband you were taking him to Vegas for some fun and then get tickets to the show!

The Retired One said...

You are such a devoted fan, he should hire you immediately. To do what? Who cares? ha
I never got into any country music. I like some of the songs I hear hit the top 40, but I never did get into any one artist.