Swine Flu in the Old Lady House

Well, it's official. We took the munchkin to the doctor Monday, and he's on the back end of Swine Flu. Of course we found this out after he'd played with every single kid in the waiting room and gone up to every adult and said, "Hello!!" because my child is nothing if not social.

I, myself, woke up Tuesday morning with a very sore throat and a kinda snorkiness in my head and think it's quite possible that I'm on the front end of Swine Flu. Yay. Combined with the backache I've had for three days due to the rains coming in, I'm just havin' a grand ole time over here! That was sarcasm for the uninitiated.

But, aside from that, our good friends, D&D were here over the weekend (if y'all get Swine Flu, bitch at hubby he invited you for this weekend, instead of waiting a week like I'd originally suggested.) and Lady D was telling me that she got rid of all their bugs (they too are a Texas country household) by putting out moth balls.

She swore, no spiders or mosquitoes or tree roaches any of which, in Texas, are both par for the course, as well as large enough to abscond with your toddler and sell him on the black market.

Image via Wikipedia

Needless to say, with my pussy ghostly white Irish-non-Texas-saddlebag skin, getting rid of the mosquitoes made my ears perk up, but when she mentioned the other bugs that she no longer had in her home, I was all, smell hell, I'm gettin' me some moth balls!

So I did... OK, I'm lying. I had hubby get them cause he owed me for sabotaging my Sunday

So it is that I'm sitting here typing this in a Swine Flu ridden home that smells just like old lady, except, I must have only known 'hip' old ladies, because I never knew any who had a house that smelled like this.

I think my sore throat is getting worse from the smell.

Happily, though, munchkin and I are new-mosquito-bite free. That's huge because they've been FIERCE since the rains started. In fact, I'm pretty sure that picture above is life-sized.

But, I'm confident I'll live. As long as no more flying-monkey-sized mosquitoes feast on me, thereby inflicting mortal wounds; and Swine Flu doesn't kill me, cause in southeast Texas, they don't give you antibiotics for Swine Flu. Which, just, ya know, as a deductive hypothesis, may be why the mortality rate for Swine Flu is kinda high in the Houston area. Just sayin'.

But, I haven't hit the lotto yet, so I can't die.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Till I'm floating above my husband who is picking out my pine box. Then maybe I'll consider believing otherwise.

Maybe.