Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sabotaged Sunday

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Call it my upbringing. Call it my continuing fantasy that Sundays are for family time and football and pot roast. Whatever. That is my deluded little Norman Rockwell wish for my Sundays, even if they very rarely turn out that way.

I want to wake up Sunday morning and snuggle up with my husband and my munchkin and lazily get up to make coffee and a big egg and bacon breakfast which we all eat together joking and smiling over our coffee mugs and sippy cup at each other basking in the amazingness of the kid(s), making phone calls to distant relatives while I do the dishes and we settle into the couch to watch football on TV and our son runs around the living room with his Nerfball shouting "GOOOOOO!!!!" until halftime when I get up to start the dinner which has never in all my housewifing years been pot roast btw which will be done by the time the game ends, but will keep if there's overtime and then we'll all retire to the dinner table to eat and talk bout various subjects and praise the cooking and hard work of the chef (me). Afterwhich, we'll play board games or cards and then possibly watch a movie complete with popcorn and put the kid(s) to bed and retire to sex and sleep to face another grueling Monday and all that entails...

Here's the problem, aside from the obvious things like hubby not liking football and not owning any board games...

We'll call him Sam. Sam is the roommate I've referenced over the last month plus. And by all that is holy, as of Friday, we managed to clear out the camper and give Sam his own place to stay. He has a bed, space to put his things, privacy, electricity and even his own fridge. He still has to come in to use the bathroom and wash his dish(es) but, by and large, he's self sufficient... You. Would. Think.

So, imagine how perturbed I was to wake up, come out to the kitchen and find Sam in my spot on the couch hawking for coffee. WTF?

First I get no snuggle time on a Sunday morning, but now, I'm greeted by someone I thought I didn't have to have in my house 24-fucking-7, sitting in MY spot on the couch, the one I wanted to crash into while waiting for coffee to brew and watch a movie with my husband while my son ran around like a mini-maniac-on-a-sugar-high, but no. I have to see muthereffing moocher ass Sam.

Ya know, when you rent an apartment, you don't go to the landlord's apartment every morning for coffee and then leave your coffee mug there to be washed. You don't use the landlord's washing powder to do your laundry and you don't hawk around the landlord's place waiting for them to feed you. You also don't constantly ask the landlord to run you to town because you're such a fucking looser that you can't get your car fixed and registered in THREE YEARS but you can use it to go to work making just enough to pay your child support because otherwise you'd go to jail, a pittance in rent, and keep yourself in beer and cigarettes.

You would if you weren't a mooching fucking looser taking advantage of the kindness shown you by your friend handle your shit the best way you knew how, keep respectable friendly boundaries by not being in someone else's house every waking hour you're not at work, set up a budget and save up to get your car fixed so you could quit treating your landlord like a taxi service, get a job that pays more so that you could move out into a decent place of your own and buy your own food and coffee and washing powder, which you should be able to do well before you got into the above mentioned place of your own.
Indiana Jones Last Crusade knight Pictures, Images and Photos
So, I call hubby into the bedroom after starting coffee to gently no, honestly, I was trying to be kind about it cause it's his 'friend' even if that's not how I'm seeing it so much anymore put my case to him, and you know what My Husband does? He hears two sentences and Blows Me Off to go back out and watch movies with fuckhead while the coffee brews.

Yeah, I see me not being real gentle about the Sam situation anymore. I see me turning into YankeeSuperBitch WhoDoesn'tBelieveInHospitalityOrCompassion AndDefinitlyNotCookingOrAnyOtherKindOfWifelyDuty. That's what I see happening.

He. Chose. Poorly.



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11 comments:

Jennifer said...

OOOOOOOO, big fucking mistake! I have had friends as roommates before and it ended with me throwing their shit onto the front lawn. No messy confrontation. I threw the shit on the lawn and locked the fucking door (after I of course changed the locks so their key didn't work). It was liberating.

Aria said...

Me too, Jennifer, and I tried to tell hubby, but you know men when it comes to their buddies. We become idiots and they become Einsteins... he'll learn and he'll be lucky if I'm still around when he does.

Angelika said...

Don't even get me started on that situation. I don't want to add fuel to the fire, LOL.

Time for a strike, IMO.

My mother did that to my dad once. Sundays became McDonald's day after that. :-)

Brandy Rose said...

I have a moocher currently in my house. Imagine coming home to have your living room REDECORATED!

Tracy said...

When is it that Sam will be leaving?

BTW - Loved that you categorized this under "Why I don't own a gun"

The Retired One said...

I would be dying also. Too much intrusion on a private family.
So, despite him being your hubby's friend, I would take the initiative and give him a future deadline of when he is to leave. Like by Halloween or Thanksgiving. And then stick to it.
His stuff is packed up on the curb if he doesn't do it on or before that date. Period.
Its not cruel. It is making him an adult. Otherwise, it is just enabling him.
Tell him otherwise it will affect your marriage. Afterall, it will, won't it?

Mee mOe said...

I had that happen before, we ended up moving into another place to get them to move...

I heard that from a friend, the only way to get someone who is mooching off of you, you pick up and move the hell-o out of there...

good luck...

I hope your renting and not buying..one thing is for sure is you learn from it and never allow it to happen again..lol, but I had it happen twice..

I wasn't to bright when I was younger, but I'm not sure I'm any wiser now...lol

Have a good one !!!

Aria said...

Thank you all for your support! FYI, Brandy Rose, I'd have bought a gun. Seriously. A great, roommate-less day to y'all!!! :-D

Jane said...

hahaha! I could only wish you well on everything. Well, life is never easy sometimes and we just have to deal with it. Thanks for sharing an interesting post. Good luck! By the way, these free gift cards might interest you too. Have a blessed day!

Jude said...

I had a BIL do that once and it took forever to get rid of him. I'm not sure which would be worse losing a friend or family member, but at some point you have to put your foot down thank goodness it was the ex's foot and not mine, but I was ready to blow.

kAyE said...

Oh wow. The roommate from hell. And I thought it was only in the movies that they have them (think Spike of
Notting Hill). Have you kicked him outta the house by now? Please say you already did. Or I could find a BIG gun for you easily.

okaaaayy. i'm outta here, I promise.