Not Carrie Bradshaw

Damn Carrie Bradshaw straight to hell. She made it look so easy to write. She'd sit there at her non-desky desk, poised over her laptop, think about something that happened with her girlfriends or boyfriends and away she'd type...always pithy and profound in her nice quiet NYC apartment.

In fact, that character made almost everything seem easy--yes, even the ups and downs of dating. You mean to tell me that with all those men, and in the middle of Manhattan, she, or any of the other friends, never found out that they were dating a closet alcoholic or a successful coke head? I mean really... Never got into a nasty cab... Never had to hear the neighbors' bass-cranked music?

And as far as the outfits, may I just say that her friends were not friends if they didn't have the heart to tell her that at her age, playing dress up was not appropriate, and Halloween had come and gone. Fashion forward was what all the magazines would say. I'm sorry, I call it blind. Sometimes, an outfit would very much be edgy, and look great, but most of the time--Yikes! Making SJP go out in public and be filmed for generations to see her in some of those outfits was simply cruel. Also not a one of them wore jeans; sweats, but not jeans. That's just unnatural.

How about the heels? OMG!!! Never heard of any one of those girls complaining about having corns or bunions or even Achilles Tendonitis from wearing those foot daggers! And yet, they're traipsing around NYC, walking quite a bit like it's nothing. OK, I used to wear heels, when I worked for the credit union. I couldn't wear them every single day, and even then, by the end of my year working there, I had corns from my toes rubbing inside the leather. When I left that job, I was pregnant with my daughter. The heels got relegated to storage, never ever to be seen again. And my feet thank me for it.

And puh-leese! When Carrie quit smoking, yeah she waffled a bit, but she didn't fly off the handle or eat her weight in ice cream or get all antsy. Hell she didn't even chew a boat-load of gum. No massive nic-fits? If she had been detoxing, the writers of that show wouldn't have even given her the shakes.

Maybe I'm a tiny bit jealous, but I really don't think so. I couldn't stand being a Barbie. I don't wear heels, I wear tennies. I wear sweats and jeans as well as more upscale outfits. I cannot have my roosters removed with a simple phone call, and I ran into all sorts of unsavory characters when I was out in the dating world. And lastly, I usually cannot just sit down whenever and start typing with all the time and quiet in the world... There is noise, there are other people, there is laundry to swap over and phone calls coming in. There are nic-fits to assuage and coffee mugs to refill. There are children with diapers that need changing and meals to prepare for more than just myself. There is real life to live. And for that, I am oh so happy that I am not Carrie Bradshaw. Well that, and those horrible outfits...