Breathe

Image by Getty Images via @daylifeWell, I've gone back over to an old site that pays (very little) for writing online articles to order.

It's just as mind numbing as I remember. For one thing, the article topics never seem to be of interest to me, even when they're in fields in which I have knowledge or interest. I guess that's what they're paying us poorly for... to illicit interest in topics that sound as thrilling as watching paint dry in a room with no lights.

However, where I have had some good fortune lately as far as my writing goes, is in my long threatened book. That is going more brilliantly than it ever has. Buuuut, not exactly lucrative as of yet.

So I have to breathe. Like Faith sings, "...just breathe"

It's both harder and easier to breathe these days. Easier because things are going quite well in almost every area of my life; except financially. Which makes things harder on my man, and by proxy (and conscience) on me.

He doesn't complain. He doesn't make me feel bad about it. Which is incredible per my past experiences, but it does make it very difficult for me to not bring in money. He deserves better, namely help with some zeros after it.

Earning has never been my strong suit. Never.

Budgeting with what is available, that is my strong suit. But it's a bit brassy to tell someone who is earning the money how to spend the money better when you aren't earning any yourself. No matter how good the advice is, it is counter intuitive to accept it. I operate best on OPM, mainly because OP have more M than I could ever hope to have. Knowing this, as sure as I'm breathing, makes it difficult for someone with my money hang-ups to speak up.

And writing isn't even paying my bills, much less contributing to his.

So I'm going to have to juggle more than I have in a very long time: a good relationship, a full time job (one of those elusive buggers has to come through eventually!), his kids, my kids, and serious writing time and effort in order to fulfill my destiny.

When God loads your plate, He loads it full. Now I just hope He also gave me enough mental, emotional, and manual dexterity to not lose my balance and dump everything on the carpet as I'm walking through.

Share