Friday, March 25, 2011

Out of Control and Back Again

Super Moon March 2011Image by JDB Photos via FlickrI know there was a planetary thing going on. Was it all due to Super Moon? I have no idea.

Whatever it was, I could feel it.

I was off the chain, and so were a lot of people I know.

That which was buried deep within us, was rearing it's heads, fully, wholly, and uncontrollably.

Some were angry and frustrated with the world to new heights, some were depressed to new depths of low. Some took areas of interest and ran unchecked head-long into them. Some were unable to control their libidos...

It was a virtual frenzy of internal shit-storm that rose to the surface and swam over our lives; our own crashing into that of those around us and causing a swell that wiped us all out in one fashion or another.

Then last night, it was over.  With the flick of some cosmic switch.

And we're all left cleaning up the disaster areas that our thoughts, words, and actions have spawned.

Consequences to be faced in the light of renewed control.

Personally, I can look at my frenzy and accept that those things sprang to the surface from somewhere buried so deeply within myself that I was unaware that they existed.

A purge of sorts... of the heart and soul and spirit... and not a pretty one.

Leaving me today to deal with what I have wrought with some embarrassment and regret. Regret not for my actions or words, because I was helpless to do or say or be otherwise.

The regret is for the effects I have had on others during that state, and the  inevitable changes to dealing with those effects with the return to normalcy.

So I go through, apologetically, cutting ties and making amends and trying to put the pieces back together in a healthy and productive manner.

However unsure I may be as to the long term outcomes and what I must face about myself; my  own wants, needs, desires, and head-space.

The key for me is forgiveness of self. Acceptance of that which bubbled forth from my depths, and contemplation of how those things fit into the visions I have for my existence; and how to go forward with this new-found knowledge of myself...

As uncomfortably revealing as it may be.

Sometimes, I guess, the only way to grow as a person is to surprise yourself to a level bordering on shocking...and occasionally dancing over that line.

So, whatever you have experienced during the planetary shift... learn from it.  Use it to grow into a more fully realized image of yourself.

May God show us all the purposes, and guide us while we are picking up our respective pieces. Registered & Protected
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1 comment:

The Retired One said...

So sorry you had a meltdown, honey...but if it ended in self realization, it served its purpose. Stress is a strange animal and occasionally it makes people bite.