LMFAO Friday ~ Post I'm NOT At BlogHer '09 Edition

Oh, my dear blog readers... it's been a very long time since I've seen the post-sleep side of 8 am, but here I was this morning, peeling my eyeballs and sitting, drooling in front of the coffee pot chanting like the old Mervyn's commercial... instead of "open open open" it was "hurry the fuck up dammit!" Nice to know I'm such a lady in the morning, eh? Yeah, NOT. My mother is so proud...

Anyway, I've been reading BlogHer recount posts all friggin' week... as if not going wasn't bad enough, now I had to read about what a blissful time you had. Suck my big toe. Although, the one from Barefoot Foodie was good, which her stuff always is, but the hands down, made me laugh so hard I was crying and trying not to wet myself winner was The Bloggess with her final BlogHer post entitled Nancy W. Kappes (paralegal) is Real and I Have Witnesses. Wow, Jenny is one fantastically twisted writer. So y'all need to go over to Bloggess and Barefoot (cause I'm so cool that I'm on a first blogger-name basis with them even if they don't know I exist, kind of like when I call Jon Bon Jovi 'Bon Jon' like I know him) when you're done here... I said, "WHEN You're Done Here!" Damn, don't sprint off just yet! I want to hear what you think about the new header, tagline and sidebar-about me-blurb, so comment before you go...Oh, and if I don't follow your blog yet, leave me a comment with the URL so I can check it out, because I've decided to add each and every single blog I follow to my blogroll, which means, FREE LINK for all you other bloggers out there! Oh, and I'll be updating the bumper stickers this weekend... yes, thank you, I know I've been slacking, stop throwing darts at me!

And now... on with LMFAO Friday!! Happy weekend everyone!

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From the Land Before Time John Connor Edition...




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...which is why it's SO embarrassing that we can't spell language!




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I wonder what that would be in Braille...




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Obviously this is the inspiration for the saying, "There is a thin person inside of me... but I can usually shut the bitch up with chocolate."




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Vanna is such a WASP, that this is the only way she can cuss.




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PETA's new design for a centipede-friendly bathroom.




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So make it good, cause we're trying to win both AFV's $20k and an Adult Film award.




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Imagine having to tell your from-out-of-town mother-in-law where you're going!?!




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Funny, I don't see a blow-hole on him... oh wait, that's just cause his mouth is closed.




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Ted decided to break into the micro-niche business of elephant dildos...




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Soon to be renamed the Michael Jackson clinic...after they start selling Diprivan of course!




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OK, so not only is it a WTF on the repair job, but look at what it's covering... WTFWTFWTF happened to that vehicle?!?!?




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You don't know, Aunt Elsa could be a programmer, but even if you get past all the code, 1926 to 2006 still doesn't make 100 years... just sayin'




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Jack Hoff always thought he was cooler with a concussion...




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A.K.A. Slacker University




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Why diets fail... tonight on Hard Copy.




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I'd just let them keep the underwear, ya know?




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Madam, for the last time, you are not a size 6.