Saturday, January 28, 2012

Oh What A Beautiful Moooooorning...

I feel like...Gordon MacRae...

"Oh what a beautiful moooooorning! Oh what a beautiful day...."

It was from the movie Oklahoma, and my father used to sing it in the car when we'd drive somewhere. He also used to sing Zippidy Do Dah, but I knew that was from Song of the South because I loved that story about br'er rabbit tricking mean ole br'er fox and br'er bear.

Guess I always loved the underdog that became the top dog stories; or maybe I just enjoyed being in on the joke. Maybe life is finally letting me in on the jokes...a little.

Because it is a beautiful morning, Mr. MacRae... Despite all kinds of life circumstances that should probably have me on my knees, I'm standing tall and smiling from the inside out.

I'm happy. Truly, deeply, light-filled happy; and I can tell you, that hasn't happened in so long I didn't remember what it really was like. Oh, I've had glimpses of it over the last several years, but achieving it for any length of time just didn't happen. Until recently.

Being surrounded by Divine connections will do that to a person, regardless of what the world throws at 'em.

Did you ever find yourself in a conversation and all of a sudden snap-to, realizing that a question had been asked of you, and answered by you totally absent of your conscious thought?

I haven't had that happen very often, but it did four months ago. A regular customer at the store whom I had had slightly more than the standard-customer-banter with came in and asked me out. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I answered him, "No." before it even registered.

Those were my angels. Making sure I didn't miss my blessing.

I'm a romantic, so I'll spare you the hearts and flowers and just put it like this: I've met many people who have made me want to be a better person; he helps me be one simply by being himself.

Everything he saw as a personal detriment in himself, is something I see as wonderful about him (or at the very least, doesn't bother me in the slightest). He feels the same about me. He fits... in all the ways I asked for, even when I had no idea what getting them would look like in real life. It's mind blowing in the best sense.

But Wait!!! There's More!!!

I know I posted last year about my unlikely friendship with Mrs. Tex-ex. Well my girl came through with such a major blessing and total friendship that we have literally become bff's, in the high school equivalent of grown-up friendship... up to, and including sleep-overs and help moving when I lost my apartment a few weeks ago. A long lost soul-sister that heals me as I heal her over morning coffee and cigarettes after Jas goes to school.

Sometimes it's by marathon texting sessions when the weight of the world seems too much; too inwardly, intimately, brutal to trust anyone else with the details of the vicious inner workings of our brains as they shred us to pieces. We share them without fear of condemnation; exorcising the darkness by examining it with the light produced when the two of us get together.

If I ever finish a book, one of the dedications will be to Tex-ex thanking him for having the good sense to throw me out and marry his wife. It was the best thing that could have happened to all of us.

Want the kicker? My boyfriend, Tex-ex, Mrs. Tex-ex and I are all on great terms. Like hanging out and having dinner and the kids all playing in the yard kind of great terms.

Is this a great life or what?!? Registered & Protected

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