Monday, October 11, 2010


Алина никогда не моет посуду, если ей сказать:...Image via WikipediaI've been coming to a lot of realizations lately.

Some of them after a lot of thought and consideration.

Some of them simply smack me in the skull while I'm washing dishes or playing Bejeweled Blitz; which mentally are the same thing~ a task to focus the surface mind while the inner mind can run free-range unchecked and give you answers you've been searching for... even if you didn't know you were searching for them.

Long ago and far away I would have smoked pot for that mental state.

I'm glad I finally found the upside to washing dishes... aside from a lack of insect & vermin and the ability to eat off of or drink out of whatever I want to without fear of contracting hepatitis or some other equally gnarly disease.

It almost makes me enjoy doing them now...Almost.

Yeah, not really.

Like last week when I realized why most marriages split up.

If you're in a relationship, envision this: If you were completely financially set, and for the rest of your natural born life you had on call for any time or place; a maid, a chef, a hooker (male or female), a nanny, and a nurse... would you still be with the person you are with?

The amount of time it takes to get to an answer is unimportant, but if the answer is, "No." then the relationship has an expiration date.

The one that hit me this morning was a little bit uncomfortable and less global.  Upon seeing pictures a friend posted on facebook, I came to the realization that this person never really liked 'me' but I was convenient and tolerable.

And I wondered how many friendships I've had like that over the years.  Where I really enjoyed someone's company and thought of them as a friend, but given the choice and other options, that person would have chosen to hang-out with someone else.

So while I can be cool with that person now, I definitely am not going to bend over backward to make contact, keep contact, or consider him or her in any of my decision making processes.

God called me for other things.  I have the personality I have for a reason and it's being put to good use elsewhere.  Expending my precious energy on this (or any) person who is a casual acquaintance at best, and who has no desire to deepen the relationship beyond that, is a waste.  And continuing to do it is a roadblock in my own personal advancement along my path.

Another revelation I came to when talking with my sister last night was how COMPLETELY GRATEFUL I am for unanswered prayers.

How different would my life, or yours for that matter, be if I had been given some of the things, or relationships, or the situations that I had asked for?

I shudder to think.  I thought about a few of them and scared myself so much I had nightmares!

OK, not really, but I should have.

So see, Bejeweled Blitz is a THERAPY TOOL, not a waste of time!

*shut up right now about the dishes, wiseass!* Registered & Protected
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The Retired One said...

I know what you mean, Aria. There are people in life that are takers. Pure and simple. You remain the Giver in the relationship. Always. Forever. After a while, it takes far too much energy. I have fallen into this more than once. Probably that "little girl" inside that wants to be liked/loved and will do anything to get the expense of our own self worth further down the road. I have gotten rid of most of those people in my life now and my energy level and self-respect is so much better now.
Please know there are your blogger friends out there that love you for who you are, with or without any reciprocation---which is great and the way it should be. People should love you for who you are!

gilmaB said...

I usually come to such realizations when vacuuming.. but anyway I'd agree many people form friendships of convenience rather than substance, however I'm one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is beyond my ability to conceive of but... lol.. yeah sometimes, (amazing as it seems), we don't always get to choose our "friends". I wonder that some of the people that hang around with me wouldn't if they, (or I), had another option, and the link between our "friendship" is somewhat, well.. tenuous. At least ostensibly, but maybe I'm missing the real point of such relationships?