Sunday, December 27, 2009

Facebook and Universal Timing

It's called Universal Timing. That thing that happens when you do something and it all falls together beautifully despite the many details and places available for making a mess of it all. Kind of like a Julia Child recipe.

It's also when you want to kick yourself for not doing the thing sooner, but then you realize that if you'd done it way back when, you'd have burnt down the house... or something akin to that on a life choice level.

That's how going back to school tomorrow is for me. For all of you wonderful people that commented on the last post with encouragement, well wishings, and a curiosity for what I'm going to be doing; first of all, let me say thank you from the bottom of my twisted-like-a-corkscrew-heart. As for my major, it will be Health Care Admin with a concentration in Pharmacy Practice. And again I say, I have no idea how I came to that decision. Why I picked THAT major. It's fuzzy in all the details. And yet, so fits me that I can't say one thing against the choice.

I know I was on facebook and saw an ad proclaiming that Moms Could Win $10,000. It all goes gray-fuzzy from there. So it is that I credit my unnatural ability to be on facebook for more hours than I spend on anything else, for being used by the Universe to send me where I needed to go. And because of that, I can't quit my beloved site.

I also had to make a tough but clear decision that until I get used to my new School Schedule I have to stop facebooking to that degree. So, I've decided that the only game I'm going to actively play will be FarmVille. I just really like that one.

But I'm also aware that games like Mafia Wars and Sorority Life require you to have "friends"... mobbies, sisters... so I'm not going to completely block those applications. However, gifts sent to me from these apps will be wasted. I appreciate your game-friendship and thinking that I'm worthy to be one of your 20 people gifted today, but honestly, until I am comfortable in my schedule, I will be ignoring any and all gifts from anything other than FarmVille. If I have extra time I will send out gifts from time to time, please don't reciprocate. Also, don't ask me to join any other games. I'm sure Fish Isle and Farm Town are very enjoyable for you, but I'm not anticipating having time and those too, will be ignored.

Please don't take these declines personally. Working FarmVille the way I do usually takes me about an hour a day. Add two classes to that and a toddler, a husband, a long-distance daughter and a house to maintain, not to mention my own personal care and hygiene needs, and I need to give myself a clear cut game plan of how I'm going to spend my time. Those of you with real lives understand, I'm sure. This is the first time in a long time that I've had definitive "have to's" in my life with deadlines and everything... In other words, A LIFE, and yes, I bought this life online... to answer the bumper sticker.

I was going to put all of this into a facebook email and just send it to my 200+ friends cause that would have been the courteous, unobtrusive thing to do, but facebook hasn't caught up to me and wouldn't let me send the email to my group called Everyone, but wanted me to put in each person separately. Honestly, I do not possess that kind of patience. I use it all up putting my many chickens into rows on FarmVille. Registered & Protected

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Monday, December 21, 2009

No Rant Just Rave

Alan, Stu, and Phil.Image via Wikipedia

So, for those of you that have been on facebook you know where I've been... playing FarmVille and writing pithy mini-commentary on my life.... Ok, I'll stop lying now, only the FarmVille part is true.

Well that and watching new Star Trek and The Hangover, both of which are soSoSO much better than I ever anticipated and I could just watch them back to back on a loop until New Year's... which you'd know if you were on facebook.

But a few weeks ago, I realized that my computer time consumption is off the hook. As in, Holy Hell woman, why don't you go offline and actually pay some attention to that cutie pie son that doesn't include you pointing out virtual farm animals. Fucking pathetic.

Then I was also thinking that I really, REALLY needed to do something with my life. Cause... well, quoting movie lines and acing flickster movie quizzes is not going to bring home the bacon... even if they make it a game show cause I just don't have the competitiveness to pull out my own tooth... sorry, I got sidetracked by The Hangover again.

So, you see what I mean? I needed some real, honest to goodness, bankable purpose in my life. I didn't know that, but the universe did. And somehow, seriously, somehow, cause no, I wasn't drugged, but I still can't quite tell you how it happened... I wound up applying for college through University of Phoenix.

Yep, y'all, twenty long years on the twisty road that has been my life, after I grabbed my degree and parted high school with my head and my bird held high, I am going back to school.

I am a Phoenix.

I'm both excited and wondering what the fuck I just did to myself all at the same time. But no matter what I'll at least get my AA, because I promised the universe that even though I'm gonna hit the Mega Million jackpot, all by myself, for Christmas 2009, I would still complete my schooling, because I know the universe put this in my lap, and the universe gets way pissed
when you discount one of it's leadings.

I know this cause three and a half years ago I quit the job the universe gave me and it hasn't given me shit since. And no, my son doesn't count cause I was pregnant before I quit that job; I just didn't know it yet.

Anyway, I'm off to celebrate by watching The Hangover again, followed by a load of dishes and a pat on the back by way of new Star Trek. Cause I'm a homebound movie junkie looser silly like that.

So, I just wanted to let y'all know that I wasn't only wasting my time while I've been away from here.

I wish you all a wonderful set of holidays, whatever you celebrate.

As for me, I'm hoping Santa brings me Chris Pine and Bradley Cooper notebooks cause I start classes on the 28th.

God Bless, Y'all! Happy 2010! Registered & Protected

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Saturday, December 5, 2009

I'm Not PC, But I'm Still People PC, Apparently

Be honest, you missed my rants, didn't you?

So this morning I got up on the post-sleep side of 8am for the first time in what seems like forever. And I'm doing dishes, cause that is the joy that is my Saturday morning, when the phone rings... at not even 9am.

This kind of irritates me, because it's not one of the distinctive rings that I've allotted to my many friends, family and admirers (ok, I made up the admirers part) but the 'unknown number' ring.

See, I was raised in the days when it was rude to call someone before 10 am. My mother would sooner let us wrestle in chocolate pudding on white carpet than let us call ANYONE friends, family, 911... before 10 am.

And yet, here I am hearing a ringtone that is sure to signal some sort of bullshit call at not even 9 am... while I'm washing dishes... pre-coffee. They obviously didn't know who they were about to deal with.

So I get the Oh-So-Mood-Enhancing computer generated voice telling me that my People PC account was past due to the tune of two months and did I want to speak to a representative. Oh, Skippy, you bet your ass I do!

You see, when we first got the high speed internet, we were going to keep the dial-up account with People PC as a back-up. It was on the desktop in the back room where we couldn't get any bars for the high-speed, so we used the high-speed with the laptop in any other room in the house than the designated computer room. My life is full of ironies like this.

Well, near the end of October we had a thunder storm that caused a big rig to go off the road and take out an entire electrical pole. Snapped it clean in half. Wire was on the wet road shooting massive electrical sparks 20 feet in the air. It is so comforting to know that people driving 20 ton trucks with the capacity for snapping electrical poles like toothpicks can't make a 10 degree turn on a wet road. Does so much for the confidence in life factor with Mr. Big Rig coming up in my side view mirror at mach 12.


So, this accident and it's ensuing power outage shot a power spike through the system that must have been like a gadjillion (real word) watts cause it blew out the computer even though it was plugged into a surge-protecting power strip. Yeah. Hey Walmart, I want my money back!

Anyway... again... Thing is, all this happened on like the 22nd of October. Well, People PC calls me last month and I tried to cancel the service. Don't need the dial-up in the back room when I have no computer in the back room. Savvy? These internet nazis, try to say that I used their service and needed to pay my bill so I could cancel.

What? I didn't use your service for this cycle I'm not paying you Jack! Now cancel my shit. I've been getting billed on the 28th of the month forever. The last day the service was used was the 21st. How is that billable for this month when I pre-pay for my service?

This Indian-accented man (dot not feather) talks all over me and tries to tell me that my billing cycle is thru the 21st so I used one day of service and have to pay the full month so I can cancel. I tell him to fuck off and die that I'm not paying it and to cancel me. I hear nothing from People PC again. Problem solved... Not Quite.

So this morning, the second I hear Mr Indian-accented man (dot not feather) on the line butchering my name I tell him that I want to speak to his supervisor immediately. Cause the second Ms. Recorded-Computer-Voice tells me I now owe TWO months I'm seein' more red than a tomato festival and I know these call center lackeys can't help me worth a damn until I get to a supervisor and go all phone-postal so I can get this handled cause I'm not paying for ANY service I didn't use. EVER. Cause I'm hard-headed like that. The People PC phone nazi wants to 'verify information' before I can be permitted to talk to a supervisor.

Oh Skippy Habib, I think not.

I came a little unstuck.

He thinks that he just needs to keep talking over me and making the same request to verify my information and I'll acquiesce to his request. Uh hello? You.Called.Me. At not even 9am in the morning. What the hell do you need to verify?

I wanted to threaten to feed him cow parts.

I didn't. I was politically correct and just cussed him out with a string of blue foulness that only a true vulgarian could have made a coherent sentence out of, cause I have skillz, and no class.

In between my filth-strings of speech, I made sure he understood that if he wasn't going to listen to me, I sure as hell wasn't going to listen to him. I was getting so postal riled up that my voice started quivering. In the world of me, that's like DEFCON 42.

I said his mother did things with farm animals that a crack whore wouldn't admit to and hung up.

I'll bet you next month I get a computerized call saying I owe three months. Registered & Protected