Writers Write, Dumbass.

I pray.

A lot.

One of my most common prayers is, "Father God Almighty, what do you want from me? Please help me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I've prayed this same prayer many times and when I've been sat on my ass, yet again by life and circumstances, the answer has usually been: Write.

Lately, that's been the only answer...aside from "Breathe, it'll be alright."

I've been using a pen and notebook since my computer went belly-up several months ago. Then Friday,  my super-basic cellphone died.

I was forced into an upgrade.

Sometimes the Universe is awesome like that. More often than not in my case.

For some reason,  if I can chill when things appear to be going as wrong as wrong can be; allow the situation to unfold,  it resolves itself in a way that surpasses what I'd hoped for as an outcome.

I am not going to lie and say that I don't show my cracks when tested.

Friday when my phone went out,  I had more than my normal irons in the fire. Stress over the situation was high and I was completely unable to communicate. At all. With anyone.

Cut. Off.

I was not...at my spiritual best by any stretch of the imagination. Cussing,  raising hell in my empty house,  and finally throwing the offending dead cellphone into a wall out of sheer frustration was how I behaved.

And yet, within a few hours, I had a working upgraded phone with more memory than a few of the replacement computers I had researched.

***mouth hung agog head hung in regret for my behavior***

These are the little faith tests that force one to grow as well as sit up and take notice when you're being told to do other things.

Things that maybe you've been shrugging off because of the limitations your mind has built up instead of seeing them as the purpose for which the Universe has intended.

Maybe, if you pray and the answer is always the same,  you should listen to it and trust that the way will be made if you just do the part asked of you.

So,  here I am with my unintentionally massively upgraded computer-phone, and writers write, Dumbass (me Dumbass not you Dumbass).

Once Upon a Time...When I Had My Computer and Give-A-Damn at the Same Time

Once upon a time... you know, like last year when I had my computer and a pretty healthy dose of spare time and give a damn... I swore that I was back. 

I updated the look of things and I wrote and I was doing really well, writing-my-blog-wise.

Then the money went away.

And then the computer died.

And then, because of the last two lines, the spare time went away... and now it's been a while fucking forever, quit lying to these people!  since I've posted and life is all different kind-of, it's not like I moved to Nepal again.

Good news is, I'm back to writing. Bad news is, it hasn't been here.

I think it's going well... but, we'll see.

Somehow, whenever I profess an upswing, life takes that as a personal challenge to blow up a bunch of stuff and I wind up sounding like I should be committed for saying that things have been alright.

Anyway, it's July 2016. I haven't posted since November 2015. And if anyone other than spammers still show up here AT ALL, it's a miracle.

And I've been writing this almost exact post for nearly five years now, so I'm considering whole heartedly giving up the ghost and quitting Aria'z Ink.

Mostly because I almost never have access to a computer when I feel like writing a post, which is no where near every day anymore, but also because I'm not even close to being the person I was when this whole experiment started in 2008.

It's like having a child, pouring everything you've got (time, money, attention, affection) into it for three years, and then neglecting it until it winds up in juvie for18 murders and a crack habit at the ripe old age of eight while you've run off and married someone the kid hates.

You kind of want to wash your hands of the whole situation, but by the same token, it's your love child and you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into it. Besides, the kid is cute and has one hell of a personality even if she did develop a murderous crack habit

So what do you do? 

Call Johnny Cochran and set up a payment plan? Which probably won't work because Johnny's dead, but he's one snake-sharp lawyer, and if anybody could come up with how to charge money from the other side, it's Johnny. He'd probably get a shit-ton of tax breaks for his newfound other-side income since he'd pull the "I'm Dead" card  just like he waived OJ's gloves around.

But then the Feds would figure out how to charge income tax on the people that are dead, just like they did to some poor New Jersey mother who is now responsible for all of her deceased son's student loans.

Then John Edward and Amy Allen would be completely overrun by people asking them to file their deceased tax forms! I wouldn't give a shit if they bothered the hell out of Zack though, because he's a tool.

Plus, it's not going to matter anyway, because we're still going to wind up with either Hillary or The Donald in office and we're pretty much fucked after that regardless of whether we're dead or alive.

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